Life Together: Love One Another

Over the past month, we have been looking at the scriptures, trying to understand what it means to live life together as Christians. We’ve encouraged one another and served one another.  We’ve lived in harmony with one another and hung in there with one another.  But really none of that is important at all if we miss out on today’s lesson. 

The reality is that we as a church often focus so much on doing church that we can miss out on the main point.  We emphasize numerical growth, often through powerful programming.  We teach our congregations well, making sure that we all know about God and that we actually know God. We emphasize individual spiritual growth, stressing spiritual disciplines – both inward and outward. 

But without love, none of that matters.  This is what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Do you get what he’s saying?  No matter what you do, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what your pedigree, no matter how encouraging you are, no matter how you serve others, no matter how harmoniously you live with others, and no matter how well you hang in there with others and forgive them, if you don’t have love, you’re full of hot air, making a lot of noise.  To rip a Shakespeare quote out of its context, “[Life, without love,] is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

Honestly, there are some people who wear the name “Christian” who show up in churches every week and lead churches and preach in churches and lead worship in churches and all they’re doing is flapping their lips and taking up space. 

When Jesus was asked the greatest commandment, he replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

Love is what’s most important.  Indeed, in John 13:34-35, we read these words from Jesus: “A new command I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Most people have their own idea of what a Christian is supposed to look like, but there is one true test: love.  This is how people will know we are following Jesus Christ: by our love.

It couldn’t be clearer. 1 John 3:23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

Believe in Jesus and love one another.  That’s it. 

What does this kind of love look like?  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a good picture. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   Love never fails. 

Some of you are thinking, “wait, they read that at my wedding.”  That’s great.  It was read at ours, too.  I think.  I don’t really remember, because we laughed through our whole ceremony.  But I’m sorry to inform you that 1 Corinthians 13 isn’t a wedding scripture.  It’s a scripture to the church. Using it to ask a husband and wife to love each other that way is silly.  Paul has instructions for husbands and wives elsewhere; submit to one another. Wives, submit to your husbands.  Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church. (Ephesians 5:20, 21, 25). But the 1 Corinthians passage isn’t for husbands and wives.  It’s for church people.

Does this describe you?  Are you patient?  Paul doesn’t pull any punches.  He goes straight for the jugular. He actually expects us to be patient? How about this: Are you kind?  Really? Some of you are really, really kind.  Some of you have shown extraordinary kindness to each other. Your outreach to the Sweet Corn Festival concession workers was a wonderful act of kindness. When someone is sick or hurting, you have reached out, serving people with kindness. But some of you have a long way to go.  Your words are always negative and you too quickly complain. And you probably have no idea how hurtful your unkind words are. 

Let’s continue.  Do you envy?  Do you boast? Are you proud?  These all go together.  I unfortunately see this too frequently in churches.  One person is really good at one thing, and you’re constantly comparing yourself to that person.  Or you’re the really good one and you always compare everyone to you.  You’re that person who’s always saying, “Well, oh yeah? Let me tell you how great I am.”  I often see it in ministry leaders and pastors.  Pastors can easily fall into the trap of counting and comparing.  I think that’s an easy trap for many of us, especially if we’ve seen what we count as success:  “Back when I led such and such ministry, we used to have 1,000 people every week…” Notice the emphasis on whose ministry it was?

Do you want to go on with what love doesn’t look like?  How’s this: Love isn’t rude.  Honestly, there are times I want to slap people (I know – that’s not very loving either, is it?), and it’s when they’re rude.  There have been really rude things said to me and my family members, and I just wonder what’s said behind my back.  There are some people who take pride in “telling it like it is” – but the Bible says, if it’s rude, saying it is not love, so don’t say it.  That’s not something to be proud of; it’s sin. 

Love isn’t self-seeking.  I hate to break it to you, but church isn’t about you as an individual (it’s not about me, either). This isn’t my church.  It isn’t your church. It’s Jesus Christ’s Church. And how did He treat the church?  He sacrificed Himself on the cross for it.  So if it’s going to be all about you, you’re going to have to one-up Jesus. 

OK, now we go from preaching to meddling.  Love isn’t easily angered.  Honestly, the things that some people have left the church over are so trivial.  Or just flat-out wrong.  There are some people who have heard a rumor that someone doesn’t like them or someone said something about their friend or family member.  So they quit the church in a huff.  And tell everyone how mad they are.  I don’t condone the gossip, because gossip is sin.  And some of you need that reminder every week.  But instead of getting to the root of the issue and going directly to that person, you’ve quickly gotten angry.  That’s not love.  And neither is keeping a record of wrongs.  When I was a little boy, my best friend was Sean Rayl.  He lived two doors down from me. I remember getting into an argument with Sean, one that ended up with us rolling around in the backyard punching each other.  We both got in trouble; he had to go home and I had to go to my room.  Later that afternoon, when I had been released from my prison, what did I do?  I went over to Sean’s house to play baseball with him. 

Some of you have kept a record of wrongs religiously.  You have your justifications as to why you can’t and won’t forgive – actually forgiveness probably never even crossed your mind when it comes to that person. If you’re there, that’s not love, and that’s not Christian.

So what does love look like? Let’s pick 1 Corinthians 13 up in verse 6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  Love rejoices with the truth.  Do you know why?  Because love and truth are connected.  Sometimes we take Ephesians 4:15 way out of context and make it say something that it really doesn’t say.  We say I’m “speaking the truth in love” and we immediately throw out ugly, nasty “truth” with no love whatsoever.  Actually, speaking the truth in love is firmly taking a stand on the Truth, who is Jesus Christ, who said, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6). When we speak Jesus into situations, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15b).  In other words, you telling your wife that her dress does indeed make her look fat isn’t speaking the truth in love.  Telling your neighbor that he’s annoying isn’t speaking the truth in love.  Speaking the truth in love is all about Jesus. 

1 John 4:16 tells us that God is love.  John 14:6 tells us that Jesus is the Truth.  And in John 10:30, Jesus says, “I and the Father are one.”  If you remember back to doing proofs in math class, you’ll remember that if a=x and b=y, then if a=b, then x=y.  In other words, love looks like the truth, because both of these are the very nature of God.  If you want Truth, seek after Jesus.  If you want love, seek after Jesus.  You won’t get it anywhere else.  The love that you enjoy now is only but a tiny taste of the love of Christ Jesus.

Love always protects.  I’m not talking about the kind of “protecting” that happens when you pretend nothing is wrong so you can “protect” your reputation or your marriage.  That’s not true protection, because it’s built on a lie.  It’s not the kind of protection that makes promises you can’t follow through on. In the movie Finding Nemo, there’s a conversation between Marlin and Dory in which Marlin says: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory: Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.

Telling someone you will always be there for them: that’s not true love, because you could get smashed by a truck when you walk out the door.  You’re not promised tomorrow.  None of us was anointed the protector of the world.  None of us has any sway over what happens after life, either.  But Jesus does.  Jesus is our protector – from now to eternity.

Love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  This is true of Jesus’ love.  That’s why John can write this in 1 John 4:9-12 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We have life through Jesus.  That’s real life, and that is love.  Not only is this love, but it’s how we can love one another as well. I want to remind you that John isn’t telling us to just try harder to love each other.  We’ve all tried that, and it doesn’t work.  Have you heard about the guy who asked, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” the answer: “Practice, practice, practice.” That’s what we’ve grown accustomed to; if we want a particular skill, we work really hard at it. But this isn’t so with love.  Love comes from God, and the ability to love one another comes from God. When 1 John 4:7-8 tells us Dear friends, let us love one another, that doesn’t stand on its own.  It goes on to say: for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

If you want to love people, love God more. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

How do you love God?  Try getting to know him – reading his word and meditating on it.  Spend meaningful time in prayer.  Practice fasting; the Bible doesn’t just suggest that some people fast or that we just do it during Lent; it’s actually expected that God’s people would spend time in fasting. Fasting helps us to identify those things that get in the way of our love for God.  Can you imagine this scenario: you and your wife are going to have a date, but you say, “can my girlfriend come along?” How well would that go over?  We let all kinds of things get in between our love for God.  For some it’s food.  For some it’s sports.  For some it’s busyness. For some it’s a relationship. For some it’s money.  You want to love God? Then pick your God.

Who is it going to be?

How about this: (1 John 4:20-21) If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

It’s not our nature to love each other way, especially once we’ve seen the dark side of one another.  We’re once bitten, twice shy.  But Peter writes this: 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Honestly, when we love each other, we are much more willing to encourage one another.  We’re willing to serve one another.  We want to live in harmony with one another.  We bear with one another and forgive one another.  Because we love each other, these things come naturally.

That is the key to living life together. Romans 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

It’s never about following a list of rules.  If you’re like me, you can find your way around those rules – you can figure out how to obey the letter of the law but not the spirit of the law.  Like when my mom would tell me to go downstairs and play quiet games with my brother.  We made up games called “Quiet Game #1” which resembled football.  “Quiet Game #2” was a kind of wrestling game.  We were obeying: we were technically playing “quiet games” but we weren’t doing what our mom wanted us to do.  

Let’s conclude with one final scripture: 1 John 3:11: This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.