Life Together: Live in Harmony with One Another

Shortly after I had graduated from college, I took a job at my college in the deans’ office. While I worked with faculty and staff, the other side of the office worked with students.  During the summers, we were usually able to catch up on our work because most of the students were not on campus.  I remember someone making the comment that “if it weren’t for all the students, working at the university would be a perfect job.” It can be easy to forget that without the students, there would be no university. 

When it comes to the church, the same is true.  Without the people, there would be no church.  So today we continue in our Life Together series, where we look at the “one another” commands in the Bible.  In the first week, we encouraged one another, and last week we served one another.  Today we get to live in harmony with one another.

This can be a confusing and complicated topic, so let’s dive in.

In 1 Peter 3:8, Peter gives final commands. Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.  Live in harmony with one another. What does this even mean?

I know the term “harmony” primarily in musical terms.  Sometimes there are songs we sing in unison.  That means we all sing the same note at the same time.  But there are other songs that include harmony, which means that while some people sing the melody line, others sing other notes, which are chosen to go with the melody.  I used to like to just sing the melody line of a song but I’d transpose it an octave or two lower, but that’s not harmony.  That’s just melody. 

When we talk about harmony, we’re talking about different notes that fit together.  Ephesians 4 is perhaps the definitive chapter on unity.  Paul writes this: Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

When we’re trying to live in harmony with others, it’s important to remember that there is a melody.  The Holy Spirit is the melody.  We recognize one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all.  For as long as I’ve been in the United Methodist Church, there have been struggles between different “groups” (some even suggesting dividing the church along theological party lines) – and the response has always been a call for unity.  After all, the Bible tells us to make every effort to be unified, doesn’t it?  Some have taken that to mean “we do whatever it takes to make everyone happy so that nobody leaves.” That’s not what the Bible says at all.  Paul stresses the unity of the Spirit.  True unity comes through the Holy Spirit.  The problem comes when we’re not Spirit-led.  When we decide we’re going to sing our own melody and hope that the Holy Spirit will sing along with us. 

I’ve figured this out in music – I’m a decent enough singer.  So when I was in the praise band at a previous church, I got a microphone and started singing.  Though I was singing most of the notes right, it didn’t sound good.  Why not?  Because my voice clashed with the worship leader’s voice.  But I figured out that I could do a pretty decent job singing harmony.  And instead of detracting from the song, it actually added to it!

When it comes to doing life together, I think we genuinely want unity. But unfortunately, we usually define unity like Rodney King: “why can’t we all just get along?”  Getting along can look like unity, but it isn’t always.

Actually, in Acts 15, we see what happened when Some men came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the brothers: “Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.” This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question. (Acts 15:1-2).  Did you hear that: this brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them.  Does this sound like the unity that you’ve heard people calling for?

Unity just for the sake of getting along isn’t biblical unity.  In fact, sometimes it means making a hard, firm stand for Truth.  But without the guidance and leadership of the Holy Spirit, we end up making hard and firm stands for preference instead of Truth. 

In Ephesians 4:22-24, Paul writes: You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Put off your old self with deceitful desires. Sometimes we believe our desires are right.  We have such a firm belief in them that we fail to ever consult with the Holy Spirit and ask Him if they are.  In fact, we’ve gotten so used to having it “our way” that we demand the same of the Holy Spirit.  Here is what I want, and now I want You to bless it. We want to be catered to in every arena of life, and if we can’t get what we want, we’ll go somewhere else and get it.  We’re a culture of consumers –we want to pick and choose what we want, what we will do for Christ.  We need new attitudes!  We need a new self! 

And we only get those by the Holy Spirit.  Without the Spirit, we can only try to get along with each other.  And without the Holy Spirit, living in harmony with one another doesn’t work.  

I want to highlight that living in harmony with one another does not mean living in uniformity.  It doesn’t mean that we’re all the same.  Remember – it says “harmony” not “melody.” There are songs where we all sing in unison – but not in the Christian life.  First of all, we all are given different gifts.  The Holy Spirit has the melody line and we all join in with our own gifts, on the trajectory the Spirit dictates, using our own gifts, in harmony.

This is important because it means we don’t all have to look alike.  It means we don’t have to dress alike, like the same things, be good at the same things.  That’s what we’re supposed to look like! We’re more like a mosaic than just a simple picture.

In college I was in an accountability relationship with a guy upstairs from me.  He came to me with a word supposedly from God, about my music.  I recognized it for what it was; we just had different tastes!  It wasn’t that I was listening to bad music, it was all about the style. Guess what: God made us with different tastes!

It’s important to listen to the Holy Spirit leading us, because there are some things that are simply matters of taste, not of theological or doctrinal significance.  For example, I’m not a big fan of tattoos.  I recognize that Leviticus 19:28 prohibited tattooing or marking the body, but I also recognize that that’s not the reason I don’t like tattoos.  Unfortunately I don’t like them just because I don’t like them.  It’s not about the biblical imperative (which is really all about the fact that the external appearance of God’s chosen and set-aside people should reflect our internal status) – for me, it’s really all about preferences.

Sometimes we fall out of harmony with one another because we have different tastes.  I’ve heard it said that in professional sports locker rooms, the most common fights are over music.  We’re pretty passionate about our musical tastes, aren’t we?  Often we in churches get pretty worked up over the little things that we’re passionate about and we miss out on the big things that the Holy Spirit is passionate about.

And often we choose what we want, not what He wants.

How do we live in harmony with one another?  One step is to allow the Holy Spirit to choose your friends and companions.  Who are you supposed to spend your time with?  Ask the Holy Spirit!  Yes, I’m serious.

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.  Don’t think you’re better than somebody – that you somehow don’t have anything to learn from them. 

For those of you who are younger, I read a great piece of advice this week from Donald Miller. 

Here’s a secret I learned long ago. It’s a big one and it’ll propel you into a future of greatness…. STOP TAKING SOCIAL CUES FROM YOUR PEERS. Instead of taking social cues from people your age, take cues from people ten and twenty years older than you. Are you looking for a church that has a lot of people who are your age so you can hang out? That’s fine, but try looking for one where most of the people have families and perhaps a little grey hair. Why? Because the sooner you can relate to their priorities, the sooner you’ll be ready for the next stage of life. I’m in my late thirties but I’m more interested in hanging out with people who are retired. What’s it teaching me? It’s teaching me what matters later in life is friendships, family and love. In matters of faith, what matters to them is not theological debate, but closeness with Jesus and unity with believers. /Donald Miller http://donmilleris.com/2010/08/30/element-of-success-make-old-friends-old-friends/

If you’re older, what might it take for you to reach out to someone younger to mentor them, to speak Jesus’ Truth into their life?  To help them navigate the paths you’ve already walked?  Living in harmony with one another means crossing generation lines.  It means crossing the lines of who has lived here forever and who is new in town.  It means crossing socioeconomic lines and political party lines. 

I know it’s easier to deal with people you like, but that’s not what the Christian life is all about.  Yes, spend time with people who uplift you and encourage you.  Yes, spend time with your family and friends.  But remember that there are all kinds of other people who God loves who are part of God’s family, and you’re called to live in harmony with them.

What exactly does it mean to live in harmony with someone?   Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  We’ll get deeper into this concept in a couple of weeks, but remember that love is central to everything we do as Christians.  So the way we behave with one another has to be fueled by love.  Jesus even commands us to love our enemies.

I want to take a moment here and remind you that this message, this “live in harmony with one another” isn’t just a message on behavior modification.  It’s not about just trying harder to get along.  On our own, we will fail at this.  Let me say that again; on our own, we will fail.  It’s not in our nature to love our enemies.  It’s not in our nature to even like people who are spreading gossip about us.  It’s not.  But that’s God’s nature, and He invites us to partake in His nature.  Our job, then, is to seek wholeheartedly after God.  Seek him with everything we are.  Then he can and will transform you.  But this isn’t to say that we’re supposed to sit by passively.

Romans 14:13 tells us Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. Understand that there is a difference between making judgments about people and judgments about actions.  Jesus tells us to love our enemies, but Paul tells us to hate what is evil. (Romans 12:9) The Holy Spirit acts in us to discern the difference between right and wrong and to help us know what is sinful.  But as far as judging people, remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:2a For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged. Being judge over people is God’s role. 

In fact, Romans 15:7 tells us to Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. And how did Christ accept you?  While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8). If Jesus Christ accepted you while you were still a sinner, maybe, just maybe, you can find it in your heart to believe that He might be doing the same with someone else? Some of you have been burned by people in this very church, and you’re unwilling to even think that the person who said mean things to you or about you could possibly have any place in the body of Christ.  As bad as the things are that have happened to you, what does it ultimately say about you that you’ve written them off?  Maybe that you yourself are in direct disobedience to God.   This is why a lot of people walk away from the church; they love God, but they can’t find it in their hearts to love people.

I want to end with 1 Corinthians 1:10, where Paul writes this: I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.  If there was any doubt before, this ridiculous verse should solidify for you that there is only one way to achieve any of this. This will only happen as we gain the mind of Christ.  This is what Paul writes to the Corinthian church: He quotes Isaiah 40:13“For who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct him?” but then he goes on to say But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16).  The Holy Spirit transforms us – gives us the mind of Christ – as we mature as Christians.  As we seek after Him. 

Holy Spirit transformation is how we can live in harmony with one another.  That’s the only way.


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