Life Together: Hang in There With One Another

We have spent the last three weeks looking at the “one another” verses in scriptures, learning how God meant us to live life together.  You see, from the creation of Eve, humanity has always been in community – God’s plan is for us to grow in Christlikeness, and a huge aspect of Jesus Christ is that He isn’t solitary; he is always in community with the Father and the Spirit.  And neither are we called to be solitary Christians.  So far, we’ve encouraged one another, served one another, and lived in harmony with one another.  And today, we’re going to hang in there with one another.

Here’s what it looks like to hang in there with one another: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until we are parted by death.  Anyone ever heard those words before?  We make these vows at a Christian marriage ceremony, which is actually more than just a wedding.  A Christian marriage is a picture to the world of God’s love for His Church, and the covenant between husband and wife is the best picture of what love is supposed to look like. Thus the vows a Christian husband and wife make to one another are really part of what it means to live together in community.

When the Apostle Paul writes the church of Ephesus about wives and husbands, he admits that he’s talking about more than just wives and husbands: This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and his church. (Ephesians 5:32).  We, as God’s bride, have entered into covenant with God, but also with one another.  Living life together means we’re in it for the long haul.  That means we don’t just bail on each other when the going gets rough.

Ephesians 4:2, which I read last week, tells us to Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Remember that being a Christian means being on God’s time, and God isn’t in a hurry.  So be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Hang in there with each other.  I want to remind you that patience is not easy.  And when we ask God for patience, he doesn’t just give us that virtue.  Especially if we ask like this: give me patience and give it to me now!  God usually rewards our desire for patience by putting into our lives situations (or people!) who require every bit of our patience.  Kind of like learning a skill – God doesn’t just gift most of us with the ability to do something hard; we have to practice, practice, practice.

The call to hang in there with one another is simply a call to be like God.  2 Peter 3:9 tells us that The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Often we want immediate results, especially when it’s about life change in someone else.  We see their faults and expect them to change, and we want that change now.  What if God might be using that person to teach us something about ourselves?  Where might we need to change? What old, unhealthy patterns do we need to change?  What are the hidden sins in our lives?  What “beneath the surface” issues are rising to the surface?  Are we allowed to have different expectations of others – expectations we don’t even hold ourselves to?

As long as I’m on “expectations” it’s pretty clear that we often have pretty low expectations for ourselves.  As a culture, we focus on “what’s the absolute minimum I have to do to get by?” But that’s not what God wants for His Church.  In fact, Jesus tells his followers to Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)

This is more than simply following a bunch of rules, because just following rules doesn’t make us perfect.  If you read the book of Colossians, you will find that this is a major theme of this letter.  In chapter 1, Paul writes this: Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation – if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. (Colossians 1:21-23)

He goes on in Colossians 3:12-14 to say this: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

This scripture is key to this whole concept, so we need to break it up a little bit.  First, it helps us with the context. As we hang in there with one another, the context must be this: we are God’s chosen people, made holy by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, and dearly loved.  Never forget this.  In fact, this might be the most important thing you hear today: God has set you apart because He loves you dearly. He has expectations of you, not to beat you down, but because he knows your potential, because it was He who set you apart to do good works.  And He loves you dearly.

Because of His love for you, and because of who you are in Him, he makes a command of how we are to dress.  Wear compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  In other words, this is what a Christian looks like.  Remember that compassion, kindness, gentleness, and patience don’t just come from trying harder to be compassionate, kind, gentle, or patient.  They flow from the Holy Spirit.   If we depend on the Holy Spirit to direct our interaction with others, then (and only then) we will be able to bear with each other.

If you want a good picture of what “bearing with each other” looks like, look to the beginning of the book of Job.

Many of you know the story of Job.  You can read all about him in the Bible, but the very brief synopsis is this: the devil tests Job by killing his livestock, his servants and his sons and daughters. Then he strikes Job with painful sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.  Even Job’s wife told him to “curse God and die.”

Job had three friends, Eliphas the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamanite, and when they heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. (Job 2:11-13)

Up until they opened their mouths, Eliphas, Bildad, and Zophar were great friends.  They wept with Job.  They mourned with him.  They sat silent with him for an entire week.  That’s bearing with one another.

Why would we do this?  Because when one part of the body hurts, the rest suffers as well.  Generally the church hasn’t been good at recognizing this.  We are good at pouring on the condemnation and adding to the suffering.  We forget that when Job’s friends spoke, they lost every bit of currency they’d had, because their speeches are terrible.  We’re good at “the look” – you know what I mean.  That look that says, “I feel sorry for that person, but he/she deserves whatever it is that he/she is getting.”  We’re good at talking behind people’s backs. 

But what happens when you’re the one who has been hurt?  I’ve seen gossips deeply wounded when people start talking about them.  I’ve seen people who were quick to offer words of condemnation change their tune when they’ve suffered through difficult times.  I’ve often seen that the ones who have gone through tough times make the best healers; they don’t dispense clichés or trivialize the pain. 

Important to remember as we hang in there with one another is the command to forgive one another.  Remember that the context for forgiveness is the context that Jesus provided on the cross: Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34).  Furthermore, every week when we say the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us in the same manner as we forgive others.  Do you really want that level of forgiveness?  An unforgiving spirit is a barrier to the reception of God’s forgiveness.

An unforgiving spirit is also a barrier to Life Together.  Some of you are harboring past hurts and have vowed that you will never forgive.  When you do that, especially if you’re aware that you are, then you are directly disobeying Jesus’ commands. 

That, to be direct, is sin.

Instead, God calls us to Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Understand that there are biblical standards for dealing with sin.  Matthew 18:15-17 gives us a clear procedure for Christians to take.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

After hearing this, Peter came to Jesus and asked how many times should he forgive his brother when he sinned against him, up to seven times?  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  In other words, keep on forgiving.

This isn’t our nature, but it is God’s nature.  He sent His Son to die for all of our sins, once and for all. And there is nothing we can do to outrun His forgiveness.  And the good news, as we live this Life Together, is that He gives us His Holy Spirit to transform us into His likeness. 

This week, I invite you to evaluate your relationship with people in this church.  Look for areas where you need to forgive or to receive forgiveness.  And ask the Holy Spirit to give you power to forgive, to hang in there with one another.