Why Can't We All Just Get Along

Philippians 4:1-7

Last week we looked at the concept of already/not yet, that Jesus already did everything that is needed for our salvation, but that we are not yet in heaven. Jesus already paid the price for our sins, and we await heaven and the transformation of our lowly bodies so they will be like his glorious body. As we begin chapter four, it really belongs with last week’s message – a summary, starting with a “therefore” and reiterating the main point: that Paul dearly loves the people of the Philippian Church and dearly desires that they stand firm in the faith, knowing that Jesus has already paid their price and that their future is secure in Him.

And so, with this in mind, Paul addresses an issue in this church. I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

It can be easy to think of these women as troublemakers, as those who would sow seeds of dissention, as those who would drive a church to ruin with their fighting. I have known various people in various churches who seem to always be fighting with someone and the common factor is always them. As I read over this, I have to admit that I wanted to rail on some people who seem to be out for the demise of the church. But Paul has already addressed that type of person last chapter, those who live as enemies of the cross of Christ. So what is going on with Euodia and Syntyche? Notice that the context in which Paul addresses them is immediately following an appeal to his dear friends. Paul does not break context here. He does not say, “On the other hand…” He does not say, “But there are some, such as Euodia and Sytyche…”  So remember that these are two of his friends, those who have contended alongside him in the cause of the gospel.

Sometimes we can get the wrong impression of the place of women in the church. Historically there are some who have used the Bible’s teaching to keep women silent and even to justify the abuse of women and to ignore their unique call to ministry. The church in Philippi was no such church. When you look back at the founding of this church, you’ll find that Paul founded it with Lydia and a group of women who gathered outside the city gate by the river (Acts 16:13-14). Women were afforded much more opportunity in Macedonia, and Paul’s admonition to these women was not that they stop teaching or anything else. These were two women who Paul describes as having contended at his side for the cause of the gospel. So his goal for them was that they would get agree with one another in the Lord.

Does this mean they have to be 100% in agreement on everything? There are some things that are essential and some things that are not. For Christians recently, it seems like the essentials are often viewed as “suggestions.” That you can view Jesus as merely a “good teacher” who died a martyr’s death, that there was no virgin birth, no miracles and no bodily resurrection, and that he is not returning for his people. How exactly is this Christianity?

There are some who believe that as long as you’re “good enough” then you’re fine.  Or that there is no Heaven or Hell, or afterlife at all. I have a friend who is a Universalist; he believes that God would never send anyone to Hell. But he also admitted to me that he didn’t come to that belief from the Bible and he agreed that the Biblical authors believed something else; that they were clear that salvation only comes through Jesus Christ, the one way to the Father. If it’s not true, then Jesus was, as C.S. Lewis put it, a liar or a lunatic. The point here is that there are essential doctrines – if we undermine them, we undermine the entire faith.

When it comes to Paul, you’ll find that he was extremely forceful when it came to people who messed with essential doctrines. Just read the letter to the Galatians and you’ll see how he felt about essential doctrines. Hint: he comes out and tells those who are forcing circumcision to go ahead and emasculate themselves. Yes, it’s in there. Galatians 5:12 One of those verses we don’t have our kids memorize in Children’s Church.

But there are other doctrines or practices that are not essential. By this I mean there are things where the Bible is not completely clear, and our salvation does not hang on which side we fall. For example, one big debate I see all the time is between predestination and free will. Predestination is the idea that God, in his sovereignty, decided in advance everything that would happen, including who would be saved and who would not be saved. Thus there is nothing we can do to affect our salvation. We may think we have a choice, but it’s really God’s choice alone. This would include Presbyterians, Reformed Christians, UCC, and some Baptists. Free will, on the other hand, suggests that we choose whether or not to follow God. The Holy Spirit woos us and draws us to Himself, but we have the ability to choose.

Who is right? The answer, though this might be offensive to some of my hardcore Calvinist friends, is that it is not essential to salvation.

Besides non-essential doctrines, there are practices held by churches that are not essential. The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly how to organize our services. It doesn’t say what kind of instruments we should use – I couldn’t find “guitar” or “drums” in the Bible, but I couldn’t find a piano or pipe organ either. Sometimes we get so fired up over the non-essentials that we completely forget about the essentials. We fight with each other about what kind of music is in the service and we neglect the poor and needy. We debate endlessly about predestination versus free will, while we fail to take the gospel to those who don’t know Jesus.

So Paul sees his friends, fellow workers in the gospel, engaged in some sort of disagreement, so what does he do? He calls them out! By name!

I have only named names once in a sermon, and that was when leaders in the church were sinning, and only because the Scripture tells us when a leader sins, the rebuke is public. But Paul’s goal here is not public rebuke. His goal is for the church to help these two women reconcile and to thus get back on track with being the church.

So I want to ask this: How do we respond when we have disunity? When it comes down to it, we tend to be pretty dysfunctional. We often base decisions on rumors and the hope of not offending anyone. We beat around the bush and pretend that conflict doesn’t happen. Sometimes there are bullies who are used to getting their way. Other times there are clergy persons who distort the Word of God for their own good or use the pulpit to massage their egos or build their own following.

I don’t like conflict. In fact, as a rule, my default setting is “conflict avoider.” But one thing we can be sure of as humans is that before we die, we will have conflict. Euodia and Syntyche were in the midst of conflict, and Paul addresses it. Even he knows that there are areas of conflict in which there might not even be a “right” and a “wrong” side! But

And Paul does not forget that these two women are not the enemy! Besides saying that they contended at his side for the cause of the gospel, Paul includes them in the category of “fellow workers” and, furthermore, he includes them as those whose names are written in the book of life.

This is a reminder that we can have disagreements in church. When our church council met to discuss if we would continue to withhold a portion of our conference apportionment I was actually happy that the vote wasn’t unanimous. We didn’t all agree, but neither did we pretend to agree for the sake of the meeting and then whine and moan about it out in the parking lot. I always ask a couple in pre-marital counseling how they fight. This almost always gets interesting responses from the couple – sometimes they’re all, “oh, we never fight!” in which case I tell them that their assignment is to have a good fight before the next appointment so they can tell me how they fight. Now, there are good and bad ways to fight, but there are basically only two reasons why a couple wouldn’t have disagreements. The first is because one is so forceful in his or her opinions that the other wouldn’t dare state anything contrary for fear of being put down. The second is because they don’t care enough about anything to disagree.

The big question is: can we disagree and still love one another? Can we disagree and put the disagreements that are non-essential for salvation aside and work together for the cause of Christ? It can be easy to forget that the other is not your enemy but is rather a brother or sister in Christ.

And so Paul continues: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

I was going to end this sermon right after we got through the disagreement between these two women, but I thought about the way the scripture is organized and how it is organized this way not just on purpose, but by the Holy Spirit.

Paul wants the church to be clear on this point: rejoice in the Lord always. He says it again. And again. And again. This is one of the main themes of the letter; to rejoice even when things aren’t going the way you want them to go. But now I believe that this section also has to do with how to deal with disagreement in the church as well.

When we disagree with one another about the non-essentials, what would happen if we stopped and rejoiced in the Lord? What would happen if this were our first response? To rejoice in the Lord with one another? How about if that was what drove all of our Christian interaction – how good God is?! I have tried to emphasize the first part of our prayer time when we rejoice with how God has been at work in the previous week; if we sincerely take notice of what God is doing and gave that first priority, everything else might look a little different.

And as we rejoice together, Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Of course we are going to be gentle with one another when we are rejoicing and actively looking for things to rejoice in. They say if you look at things like a hammer, everything looks like a nail. But conversely, when your mind is set on positive things, you begin to see everything in a positive light. And reflecting that the Lord is near is key. I remember in college, one day a fraternity brother ran into me after a terrible class. He told me I looked terrible, to which I responded by telling him how awful the class was. Then I realized that my professor was standing right behind me. Yeah, that was awkward. But how might our behavior change if we were to reflect on the nearness of the Lord?

Paul gives a good clue: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God’s got it all under control. Everything. This is how God’s people can be peaceful in times when it doesn’t seem like you should be. Again, it’s all about Jesus.